Just call me Petty LaBelle
Do you know the feature that Facebook has called “On This Day”? It’s a colorful notification that pops up to remind you of the good times. They make for nostalgic #TBT (throwback Thursday) posts, where you can repost and reminisce on a moment from the past. While on Facebook a few days ago, I scrolled through some of my best Facebook moments and came across one that caused me pause. This particular status reminded me of my past and how #Petty I was. Remember how the only status update you could do said “[Your Name Here] is…”? Mine read something like, “Casey is really excited for movie night with [college friend, who shall remain nameless], because it’s nice to spend time with people who are REAL and not FAKE. :)” Ohhh the shade young Casey threw. I recalled that it was freshman year of college and I just had a massive falling out with those who I considered my “besties.” The best coping mechanism was subliminal messages, silent treatment, and side eyes. #messy
The Three A's
Since it’s been a few years, I began to reflect on how I choose friends now and the impact those relationships have on my life goals. Three major things that I look for in building new relationships and revamping the old faithfuls are three A’s: allegiance, ambition, accountability
1. Allegiance (Trust factor):
If you can’t trust your friends with the vision that you have for your life, what’s the purpose of the relationship? True friendship allows the freedom to be unapologetically you, without the fear of someone poaching your idea, discouraging you from pursuing a big idea, or hearing your private conversations from Susie Q down the street. Trust comes with time. It’s built through trials, tribulations, joys, sorrows, and good ‘ole observation.
“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
If you’re on the path to be CEO of a Fortune 50 company, but conversations with your circle are solely about frivolous topics (ie. Turning up every night and barely doing work at work), what’s the purpose of the relationship? Is your circle pushing you to be better? Are they encouraging you to be the best that you can be? Are they okay with you being the same person that you were 10 years ago, with no personal, professional, or spiritual growth? Don’t allow other people’s lack of drive and vision impact the trajectory of your life.
“Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
If you’ve decided to simplify your life (see #Simplify2016 if that’s you!), but your friends are pressuring you to join 3 planning committees, take on extra work, and attend time consuming functions, knowing that you’re past scheduled capacity, what’s the purpose of the relationship? Friends keep you accountable to your goals, because they see your success as their success. (Major Key- Shoutout to DJ Khaled) They want you to win. They want you to be the best that you can be, because as you grow, they grow. It’s a reciprocal partnership. Your circle should keep you honest, and even when you fall, they should be there to walk alongside you as you get back on track.
“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Ultimately, your circle can cause you to post #Petty statuses about how trifling they are, or they can bring joy to your heart knowing that they’ll stick closer to you than a brother. Jim Rhone says, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” What qualities are you absorbing from your circle? Who’s in your top 5?
Make sure you watch the YouTube video for more insight!
Share this blog with anyone who may need to revamp their circle! I'm also a speaker, invite me to speak at your next event!